Marketing Possibilities for the McCain-Obama Debates

Counterhegemonic

The election debates allow American viewers a few hours of a very unusual thing - commercial-free television. For two hours they can enjoy a program without facing a barrage of corporate endorsements meant to slickly steer you towards your next consumer purchase. No jingles, no quirky scenarios and no subtle insertion of the latest oh, so useful product. In theory, the choice between John McCain and Barack Obama is so vital for the future of this country that no distractions (including distractions of the 3rd party kind) can be allowed to interfere with the decision-making process of voters.

Perhaps, though, we should not throw away the lessons offered by the neo-liberal free-marketeers so quickly. Since both the McCain and Obama campaigns have already been purchased and shaped by corporations, why not take advantage of a profitable opportunity. Simply put, the bi-partisan election committee could insert short commercials after each candidate answers a question. McCain speaks about his healthcare proposal...flash to a 20 second commercial from United Healthcare. Obama wants to invade Pakistan...GO Army Proud! Where could a savvy marketing executive find corporations willing to buy such an ad space?

A great place to look for possible customers are the reports on the top contributors to the two campaigns. The list if chock-full of corporations flush with advertising money and ready to spend. For the Obama slots we should contact Goldman Sachs. They have already coughed up $739,521 to the campaign. Of course, you might want to start a bidding war by including Citigroup ($492,548) and J.P. Morgan Chase ($475,112) in the negotiations. If all this fails, you can count on Google ($487,355) or Microsoft ($429,656) to snatch some prime commercial real estate.

The McCain campaign will require a more developed marketing plan. Seems as though his top donor, Merrill Lynch, might not be so forthcoming with cash these days. Luckily our resident maverick managed to squeeze $349,170 out of this financial titanic before it capsized. A patriotic-military theme which pairs the US Army ($150,470) with the US Department of Defense ($118,125) might make for a spectacular visual after a question on Iraq. Or, in a pinch, perhaps a cheery Fed-Ex ($121,904) jingle might do the trick.

Since most marketing execs are working on tight timelines why bother with negotiations. Why not sell the whole advertising bloc to the companies which have purchased both campaigns? Goldman Sachs ($220,045 to McCain), Citigroup ($287,801 to McCain) and J.P. Morgan Chase ($206,392 to McCain) seem to love them both! They can then sell off parts of the advertising bloc in a financial derivatives market packaged with a credit default swap to hedge against possible losses but backed by no collateral.

With the bailouts and the rising national budget deficit looming our the national budget, now is the time for a presidential debate which maximizes its profit-potential. If Americans can concentrate on their favorite television shows or the evening news with commercials running every ten minutes they can certainly decide which corporate candidate will suit them best for the next four years. In the process, they might also pick up some banking tips, a new computer or a sense of patriotic security. Everybody wins, right?